HAVE TO GO THROUGH IT

Everything that we do is based on our core beliefs that are either learned or inherited. These core beliefs are so deep, we don’t see them day to day, they are covered by layers & layers of noise & they touch into our sense of worth & value, often echoing with the voice of your own self judgement. Invariably these beliefs have formed as a way to self protect & frequently serve us no purpose. You could describe them as neurobiological patterns that repeat on themselves when we find ourselves triggered.

When we find ourselves slipping into negative patterns it rarely feels good, in fact the accompanying emotion that tends arise is shame. Shame is one of the most debilitating feelings, it sucks out all joy & leaves you feeling stuck & frozen in the moment. The world contracts, leaving little room or space to breathe.

The key proponent of yoga is awareness – the practice asks of us to build up the ability to stop & pause, to witness what is going on & to take a deep breath. When we do this we can perhaps see the fork in the road – the two directions of choice. In Sanskrit this is the difference between Sukha & Dukha – sukha meaning good space & dukha meaning bad space. If we chose to continually try to bypass these moments of choice then we will never learn. The truth being that we have to go through these moments, we have to rub up against our pain points in order to see them. We can not go around them, we can not go over them & we can not go under them.

Spiritual bypassing is believing that we can find a way of side stepping this work by assuming the stance of the yogi who is superior to others & who is perfect. But the reality is we are all flawed, we all can get triggered & we can all fall into shame. Sometimes our practice is enough, sometimes we need the gentle helping hand of another person, it’s confronting but the rewards are so much greater.

I know this to be true as it’s a shame hole I find myself in many times, each time though I find a way to climb out of that shame hole & next time I see that shame hole maybe I’ll find a different way of approaching it. That’s my intention anyway.

Leaving you with the words of this poem By Portia Nelson which I love every time, I challenge anyone to not find resonance with it’s words

I walk down the street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I fall in.

I am lost… I am helpless.

It isn’t my fault.

It takes forever to find a way out.

I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I pretend I don’t see it.

I fall in again.

I can’t believe I am in the same place.

But, it isn’t my fault.

It still takes me a long time to get out.

I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I see it is there.

I still fall in. It’s a habit.

My eyes are open.

I know where I am.

It is my fault. I get out immediately.

I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I walk around it.

I walk down another street.

Peace